i saw that movie... nine times in the theatre. i just can't even believe it. i pulled out all my old posters tonight (i have posters from every single movie he's done, including australian films, through brokeback mountain, rolled up against a bookshelf in my room), and was looking at them and cried some more.

i feel so stupid for it, but, i mean... i loved him. no, i didn't know him at all, and we'd only met that once, but i loved him in the way that a seventeen year old girl could love her first celebrity crush.